Everyone has a story of how tarot and witchcraft became such an integral part of their lives. Everyone’s story is different but one thing can be agreed upon, tarot and witchcraft changes you. Not in some mystical super power way, but it gives you the tools to be a better person. It forces you to look self reflect and take a good hard look at the person you truly are. It makes you introspect.
I have always had an interest in the occult. When I was a teenager I went through a phase where I was into Wicca, then Crowley, then eastern religion. I just hopped around and studied everything I could. I was not on a “serious” path but I took myself very seriously as all teenagers do. I thought I was very sophisticated. Isn’t it funny how we look back at our teenage selves and realize how little we really know? I was bullied quite a bit as a teen. I was considered the wierd goth chick. The movie The Craft really resonated with me. I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere Texas where school announcements were ended in prayer. The occult gave me hope. It made me feel less alone.
When I went to college I took a break. I went through the typical college phase where I admit, partying was my main priority. I left all reflection of the self behind. I think most people go through this phase in their youth.
Things changed when my grandma died. She was my foundation. She was the only family I had left. I was born into a family plagued with drug problems and alcoholism. All of my relatives are either in prison or strung out somewhere. When you look at the person you love and you see the light go out of their eyes and watch their life force go away it changes you. It was unexpected and violent. I had a glimpse of death I had not had seen. It gave me a new appreciation for life. It also renewed my interest in the occult. I had a bit of an exestential crisis. I felt my own mortality. I reproached the occult with more of a solid and dedicated appreciation that only comes with age. I gobbled up everything I could with a fierce sincerity. I also approached it without the seriousness I had before. I allowed my beliefs to change and mold as I read more and explored.
I made a lot of life changes based on that moment. After I realized the human race has a 99% success rate. I stopped trying to fit in just to get somewhere in the corporate grind. I stopped living based on what others expectations of me were. I came out of the broom closest so to speak at work, which didn’t exactly go over to well in the Bible belt. I also started to let my goth fashion sense come out at work which really did not go over well. From that point I made the decision to move across the county and find my happiness. It was hard and cathartic. I left my entire world behind. I make a point now to invest in my spirituality in some way every day. Tarot helped me deal with grief, it guides me ever day. It has helped me become more emotionally equipped to handle situations and has left me with a wonderment of how mysterious and vast our universe truly is. With age I don’t gain more knowledge, I just realize how much I don’t know.
I believe that studying the occult adds a richness to life that really can’t be described to someone who is not practicing or studying a path. There is a sense of oneness with the all or whatever you want to call it when doing ritual and meditation or just having an awesome Tarot session that can only be described by experience. Tarot is also just fun! There is a thrill getting a new deck and seeing your collection grow. Each deck is a work of art in its own right. An emotional stability comes from learning about the sephiroth on the tree of life and consciously integrating them into your everyday life. I can’t imagine living life without what all I have learned and know.
I hope to have some new reviews posted soon. I just moved into our new home and I am still unpacking all of my decks and other treasures. I also just had lasik surgery and been recovering. I can’t believe how much stuff we brought from Texas. Too much honestly.
How has tarot changed your life?